Ah, the holidays: Candy canes, cozy slippers, festive lights, family peace, marital joy, and grateful children. Or not.
The holidays are stressful. There are the challenges of too much family, not enough family, and perhaps worst of all, the gap between our actual life and our fantasy life. Especially for our loved ones with alcohol or drug addictions, the holidays may not be a joyous time of the year, but a season filled with loneliness, anxiety, self-doubt and unachievable expectations.
Find out what's happening in Danverswith free, real-time updates from Patch.
For family and friends, it may be a time marred by anxiety, frustration, even anger, and the uncertainty of how to act around someone with an addiction. Worst of all, the holidays can be a cause of relapse.
Find out what's happening in Danverswith free, real-time updates from Patch.
For those with addiction issues, don't be torn apart by nostalgia and grief over the good times and good people of the past, and wracked with guilt and inadequacy for failing to create a more wonderful life for yourself and those you love. As Scourge learned, focus on the present and the future, not the past. Find new ways to celebrate. Create new symbols and rituals for yourself, family and friends that help redefine a joyful holiday season and that celebrate your recovery. Avoid isolation and spend time with people you like and who are supportive. Don't expose yourself to unnecessary stress or temptations.
Families need to set firm boundaries around celebrations. Let the person know ahead of time that alcohol and substance abuse will not be tolerated during your festivities. To avoid any awkwardness, have a direct conversation before the holiday celebration. Tell them you are proud of them and ask if there is anything you can do to make them feel more comfortable. Understand that families cannot cure addiction and they cannot control it. Nor can families cause a relapse - it's up to the recovering person to be responsible for their own recovery. But families can be supportive of loved ones in recovery - especially during the holidays.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or recovery you can find in-state treatment, counseling and recovery options on the “Resources” page at www.DanversCARES.org.
Sincerely,
Michael J. Kittay, MD
President and Medical Director, ARCH-Addiction Recovery Care Help
Board Certified in Addiction Medicine by the American Board of Addiction Medicine with a practice in Danvers
